AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
