accomplished twins. life is a go
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
