I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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