Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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