I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
