do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
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