Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
