sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
