i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
