Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
