yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
