I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Randomize
