can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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