so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
