I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Randomize
