we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize
