I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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