Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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