So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
