dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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