White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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