She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
