I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
