Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
