as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i can't believe i had my finger in that
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
