Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
