Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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