So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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