i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
