Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
