Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
Randomize
