another moral hangover. fuck.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
