No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
