It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
