morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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