I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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