just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
