no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
im holly from the hills drunk
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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