swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
