At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
