So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
