Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
