Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
