Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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