DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
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