i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
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