are you still at the devil's house?
a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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