if i can run in heels then i can drive
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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