Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
