I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
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